i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
