My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
