Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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