my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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