no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
