Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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