Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
