just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
