Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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