i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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