he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
