Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
