Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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