the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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