we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
