Pappa wants mamma naked
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
