you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
