never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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