he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
