Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
