You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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