I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize