That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I need a beard to bite.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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