The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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