i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
