Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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