Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Bring me that man meat
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
