Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
