no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
