I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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