It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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