He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
