I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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