he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
