come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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