The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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