I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
