You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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