Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
