As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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