well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
