Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i out mim tonsoeep
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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