Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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