whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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