oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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