I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize