He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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