I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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