That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
