he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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