The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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