youre lurking in front of me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
