I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
