Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
