just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
