absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
