you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
