Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
